The art of conversation

A conversation does not always have a refined, structured pattern, yet some of our conversations are better than others. Why?

Conversation is an art

Some people have a brilliant gift: people can easily start a conversation with (pretty much) anyone. At times they are able to obtain more information on a person’s viewpoint, or they can easily approach a topic which is often considered taboo. For example, a counsellor who specializes in trauma may be able to ask a person something that might otherwise be deemed inappropriate, or, well, a scary topic to approach in the first instance! But does this example already reveal something about speech, talking and conversations? Perhaps it does, let’s explore it.

Conversation is everywhere

A conversation is a communication method, so everyone can communicate. Take a paralysed person, for example, who communicates with their eyes rather than speaking flatulently with words. Although they are not making words with their mouth, they are still communicating by having a conversation with another person through vision.

What about…

animals? Those whistles we hear in the morning, whenever we wake up, are birds communicating with one another. Are they discussing where the food is? Does it matter? Not really, so long as it makes sense to them, and so long as it doesn’t harm others, then a conversation should be embraced more often.

Name the conversation

I am not suggesting that I am an expert in talking, or that a conversation should have certain elements within it, but I am suggesting (from my personal opinion) that a conversation should have a certain element of structure in order to be a memorable, useful, or even a funny conversation.

So personalise a conversation if you can. This is literally saying a persons name within a sentence.

Jack, how are you today?

That is much better than saying “how are you today?” Isn’t it? Personalise common phrases:

  • if it’s the morning, say good morning in your sentence – use your gift of speech.
  • if you don’t know a persons name, say pal, or buddy – use your instinct of what feels right. Remember your gut feeling?

Personalised conversations could also help to imply that you really mean what you have said. It also shows a little thought, on your part, the conversationalist. Our gift of language is too beautiful to forget.

Social media

Who said social media (Facebook, Twitter etc) are killing conversations? We have words, we know them, we can use them, we are using them. Conversation’s are simply brilliant, so go, make somebodies day – have a conversation with them!

Post 82, over and out


Advice continued

Post 70

Two people offering advice to each other

Two people offering advice to each other

Making advice personal

So in a post a few days ago on advice, I tried to touch on the importance of giving advice, but I didn’t actually get to the crux of the matter.

By simply having some advice shows a few things:

  • you have learnt from something
  • you are learning from someone
  • you are adding your own experience to make advice better

Better advice? Hum …

Well this one is difficult to answer, simply because some bits of advice are precise, specific and completely relevant to an event, that know matter what way you reword it, it won’t have the same effect – or sound nowhere as good as the ‘new’ advice.

Advice shows strength from our part. It simply shows strength. Why and how? The fact that you have gone through a difficult situation shows that you have been able to bounce back from a difficult situation. Reflecting on advice from that difficult situation confirms that you survived that situation, and have turned it into a strength of your very own!

Advice is a quality

Not everyone can give advice. So next time you find yourself helping your little nephew, daughter, grandson, partner, friend (or whoever else is important in your life) make sure you congradulate yourself for being able to offer someone one of lifes greatest gifts – advice.

Spread the advice, share the advice and together we can all make a difference

Post 70, over and out


Post 52:

Purpose of school

It’s one thing we are lucky enough to experience, yet it is one experience which we are quick at resenting – school.

From the moment we talk to the moment we start thinking for ourselves, our brain is constantly growing, devloping and adapting to situations within our lives. Yet, we don’t thank ourselves for this instrument.

When was the last time you learnt something new?

Perhaps you haven’t thought that that article in the News a few days ago enhanced your knowledge. Perhaps you failed to recognise that that new button on the photocopier you used for the first time was a mini learning curve. Perhaps we have talked to someone, listened to what they have said and took note of a new word we haven’t gave much thought about, and now use it ourselves.

Do we really reward ourselves?

For some self-awards occur all the time. e.g. Wasn’t I great at spotting the discounted item today? For others they don’t come often enough. e.g. What did I press that button for?

So how do we reward ourselves, and why should we do it? Well rewarding ourselves for something we don’t do often is recognising that we have accomplished something. Once we go out of our way to do something new, we are enhancing our lives with new skills and knowledge. Perhaps such skills will be useful to pass onto our friends, family and others we have the pleasure of coming into contact with.

Get the balance right

Of course learning something new, or seeing a new aspect is good, but spotting a discounted item isn’t really something new. Something new, is something we have learnt (as a race) and something we can pass onto others. Albeit a new option on the computer. The fact that we can learn something new just lets us know that learning is one of life’s best gifts. So why not say Go me, I just did something I wouldn’t have known five minutes ago. Rather than rewarding oneself with unnecessary self-rewards which we cannot pass on to the next generation, or even better our generation!

Learning is one of the greatest gifts we will ever have. So make sure you use this gift yourself, and pass it on to someone else. By doing so, we are embracing learning, and life itself.

Self-achievement, self-recognition … live on

Post 52, over and out