A conversation does not always have a refined, structured pattern, yet some of our conversations are better than others. Why?
Conversation is an art
Some people have a brilliant gift: people can easily start a conversation with (pretty much) anyone. At times they are able to obtain more information on a person’s viewpoint, or they can easily approach a topic which is often considered taboo. For example, a counsellor who specializes in trauma may be able to ask a person something that might otherwise be deemed inappropriate, or, well, a scary topic to approach in the first instance! But does this example already reveal something about speech, talking and conversations? Perhaps it does, let’s explore it.
Conversation is everywhere
A conversation is a communication method, so everyone can communicate. Take a paralysed person, for example, who communicates with their eyes rather than speaking flatulently with words. Although they are not making words with their mouth, they are still communicating by having a conversation with another person through vision.
…animals? Those whistles we hear in the morning, whenever we wake up, are birds communicating with one another. Are they discussing where the food is? Does it matter? Not really, so long as it makes sense to them, and so long as it doesn’t harm others, then a conversation should be embraced more often.
Name the conversation
I am not suggesting that I am an expert in talking, or that a conversation should have certain elements within it, but I am suggesting (from my personal opinion) that a conversation should have a certain element of structure in order to be a memorable, useful, or even a funny conversation.
So personalise a conversation if you can. This is literally saying a persons name within a sentence.
Jack, how are you today?
That is much better than saying “how are you today?” Isn’t it? Personalise common phrases:
- if it’s the morning, say good morning in your sentence – use your gift of speech.
- if you don’t know a persons name, say pal, or buddy – use your instinct of what feels right. Remember your gut feeling?
Personalised conversations could also help to imply that you really mean what you have said. It also shows a little thought, on your part, the conversationalist. Our gift of language is too beautiful to forget.
Who said social media (Facebook, Twitter etc) are killing conversations? We have words, we know them, we can use them, we are using them. Conversation’s are simply brilliant, so go, make somebodies day – have a conversation with them!